


Solitary Hide and Seek Envy

by MonochromeMog



Series: Vocaloid Songs Inspired Fanfics [3]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Caring Gabriel, Doll Gabriel, He really messed up big time in this, Hurt Sam, Hurt/Comfort, John Winchester's A+ Parenting, M/M, Sabriel implied, Worried Dean
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-15
Updated: 2016-03-15
Packaged: 2018-05-26 21:12:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,315
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6256063
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MonochromeMog/pseuds/MonochromeMog
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John is stuck raising two sons after his wife dies in a fire. He grows Dean up to be a hunter, Sam doesn't want to be a hunter though.</p><p>That doesn't sit well with John.</p><p>*artwork has been added.*</p>
            </blockquote>





	Solitary Hide and Seek Envy

  
[Solitary Hide and Seek Envy (Sam)](http://littleredscarfdi.deviantart.com/art/Solitary-Hide-and-Seek-Envy-Sam-611589688) by [LittleRedScarfdi](http://littleredscarfdi.deviantart.com/) on [DeviantArt](http://www.deviantart.com)"/>

Solitary Hide and Seek Envy 

 

Mary Winchester died in a fire a long time ago.

This left John to care for his two sons; Dean and Sam. He didn't do a very good job. Dean grew up to be a hunter like his dad when he became 14 years old. Sam was too young to become a hunter, he was only 10 years old. Even at a young age, Sam knew he didn't want to be a hunter anyways. 

This didn't sit well with their father. 

John started to neglect Sam. He would speak to him sometimes, but not often. He would be too busy taking Dean out for hunts, leaving Sam alone at some dingy motel. Dean wasn't much better; he would snap at Sam at times, he would apologise straight after though... 

Dean always followed John's orders. He wouldn't ask questions. He would get the job done. 

Which is why John and Dean arguing came as a surprise. 

"He doesn't want to be a hunter, dad! So what? Don't neglect him because he wants to do something else!" Dean shouted, slamming his fist down on the kitchen table. Sam was pretending to be asleep, under the dirty motel quilt. 

"He will be a hunter. He can't walk away from what he is suppose to be!" 

"He's only 10! Stop acting like a general and act like his father!" 

"Shut up, Dean! Go to bed! Now!" 

Dean blew out an annoyed sigh, before he walked over to his bed, he laid down, directing a glare to his father. 

Sam curled up a little more, tears burning in his eyes. His hands clutched a golden eyed doll with a dark jacket. He's had this doll ever since he was born, he vaguely remembered his mother giving it to him...

Right before the fire... 

Mary told Sam the dolls name was Gabriel, so Sam always called him Gabriel. It sometimes struck Sam that he got the doll when he was a baby and that he shouldn't remember something like that, but he shrugged it off. Some things just stick, you know? 

It couldn't be anything else. 

Gabriel was Sam's only real comfort these days; Dean was too busy with hunts and John is doing everything in his power to ignore Sam, just because he doesn't want to hunt. That hurt than anything else, your only parent neglecting you because you won't go down the path they want you to. 

It's clear Dean is trying to save Sam from that path. But, he's losing the battle horribly. 

 

"Dean...?" Sam asked the following morning. He was sitting on the bed with Gabriel in his arms. Dean looked up at him from tying his boots, before he returned his gaze back to working on the task. 

"Why were you shouting at dad last night?" 

Dean paused. "Because his views are screwed up." 

"But maybe he's right..." 

"I really don't want to talk about this, Sam." 

Dean stood, grabbed his duffle and headed for the door. "But Dean..."

"I said I didn't want to talk about, okay Sam?" Dean snapped. Sam looked at Dean with watery hazel eyes and Dean sighed. "Sorry, Sammy... I'll see you later." 

Dean left the motel without a reply from his depressed brother. 

Sam looked down at Gabriel and frowned. "Gabe... Is it my fault that Dean and dad are fighting?" 

He made the doll nod with his fingers. 

"Should I leave?" 

A nod. 

"I think I should too..." 

 

Sam walked to a playground, Gabriel in his arms. Truthfully, he walked around without knowing where to go. The streets were deserted and the buildings were ancient and falling a part. "Will dad be angry with me?" 

A nod. 

"I don't think he will... He hates me." 

No reply. 

Sam just wandered around aimlessly, but chose to spend the night in a playground five miles away from the motel. "Dean and dad don't even know... They'll never know..." 

He took shelter under the slide, never letting go of Gabriel as he curled up as much as he could. A few tears escaped his eyes, but he tried to hold them back. He missed Dean and John, Dean especially. He's always been so dependent on Dean, actually, they've always been codependent on each other. Dean was Sam's rock, Dean kept him steady and calm, but now he's not there, Sam just feels... 

Empty. 

"I've been a very bad boy..." 

 

Two days later, Sam was sitting on the pavement, a piece of chalk in his hand. He stared down at his drawing, head tilting. His other hand grasped Gabriel's arm. 

"I miss Dean and dad..." 

Sam didn't know why, but he ended up drawing him, Dean and dad all together playing. He remembered when Dean was young, his dad didn't force hunting on them both, they had time to play... They used to play Hide and Seek all the time... 

"Sammy!"

Sam's head snapped up at Dean's voice. 

"Where have you been?"

Dean wasn't coming close to him. He was running towards a brown haired kid who wore a trench coat. 

"Sorry, De..." 

"Dad and I have been looking everywhere for you!" 

Dean picked the brown haired kid up and hugged him to his chest. 

"Gabe... Why is—?"

Gabriel was missing. 

Dean looked down at the brown haired boy and kissed his forehead lightly. "Come on, let's go home, Sammy..." 

Sam took off running. 

The brown haired kid looked up at 'Dean'. 

"Gabriel, I think we made it worse..."

"Don't worry about it, kid. I know where he's going. He hasn't eaten in days... He'll collapse soon..." 

"That doesn't make me feel better..." 

 

Sam didn't know how he got on the train. He just walked on without money or anything else. His arms felt empty without Gabriel in them. Now, he was alone. 

No dad.

No Dean.

And now, no Gabriel.

He sat limply, his gaze on the dirty floor beneath him. Sam didn't know where he was going, he just wanted to leave... 

Dean replaced him. 

Dean replaced him. 

Dean replaced him. 

Dean doesn't love him anymore. 

Dean doesn't love him anymore. 

Dean doesn't love him anymore. 

Sam got off the train at a random station, dodging police officers and people. He walked until he came across another playground. The playground was a bit newer than the one he slept in, but he didn't care about quality... 

He was replaced, probably for a good reason, he didn't deserve even a hint of happiness. 

Sam's stomach growled loudly. When was the last time he ate? He didn't really think leaving through properly. He didn't bring food with him and he didn't eat before he left. He whimpered in response to his stomach's demand to be fed and curled up in a tight ball in a feeble attempt to hide from the cramps that were attacking his stomach. 

He wanted Dean to comfort him. 

He wanted his dad to talk to him again. 

He wanted Gabriel in his arms. 

Sam went to sleep knowing he will never get these things ever again... 

"3...2...1! Ready or not, here I come!" 

When Sam opened his eyes, he was met with a meadow full of flowers. He was 3 years old again. 

"I found you, Dean!" 

Sam pointed to a tree where he saw his big brother. Dean came out behind his hiding place and grinned at Sam. 

"Can you find dad, Sammy?" 

Sam looked around the meadow before pointing to another tree. "There! I can see his boot!" 

John came out from behind the tree as well, a faint smile graced across his face. "Well done, Sammy." 

"You're getting rusty, dad. Sam said he could see your boot." 

Dean remarked, standing beside Sam. 

"I'm getting old. What can I say...?" 

"Looks like it's gonna start raining." 

Dean took Sam's hand gently and John took the other. 

"Come on, Sammy, let's go home." 

 

"Sammy!" 

"Come on, Sam, wake up, please." 

Sam opened his hazel eyes for the second time. This time, he felt groggy, his tongue felt like cotton. Dean and John were hovering over him. Concern could be clearly seen on their faces. "Sammy..." Dean engulfed Sam in his arms, putting Sam's head against his chest. 

"Where..."

Sam tried to get some words out, but his throat was dry and protesting against the action. 

"Shh... It's okay, Sam... You're all right now. I'm sorry Sam... I'm so sorry..." 

John uncharacteristically planted a gentle kiss on top of Sam's soft brown hair. Sam hesitantly pulled away from Dean's warmth and looked around. He was in a white room, a hospital, Sam thought. When he looked to his right, he saw a IV bag. The tube was connected to his wrist. 

"Here, Sammy." 

Dean put a straw to Sam's cracked lips. "Take small sips." He instructed. Sam obeyed, drinking the water slowly. The cool water felt like Heaven on his overly dry throat. 

"Never do that again, Sammy... You scared the crap outta us." 

Dean breathed out, putting the glass back on the bedside table. "I'm sorry." Sam rasped out, coughing to clear his throat. "Why did you run away, Sam?" John asks, carding a hand through his shaggy hair. 

"You two were fighting because of me... You neglected me... You both would be better off without me..." 

"No, no, no, we wouldn't be, Sammy." 

Dean cooed, hugging Sam to his chest. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. He would fall a part without Sam with him. 

Actually, he nearly fell a part when he got a call from the hospital about a 10 year old boy who was brought to the hospital that morning. 

When Dean and John went back to the motel and saw Sam missing, they immediately panicked. Dean took the impala around the area about 50 times and John went to the police station to file a missing person report. Usually, they wouldn't go to the police, but they couldn't find Sam at all. 

They know a Supernatural creature didn't take him because all the salt lines, wards, sigils and any other form of protection was still intact when Dean and John arrived. That didn't bring them anymore comfort though, because it means that Sam left on his own accord. 

For once, Dean missed seeing the doll Sam carried around frequently, if the doll was still here, it would mean Sam was taken and more likely easy to find. Plus, it hurt less; Sam ran away for a reason and that reason probably connected to Dean and John. He ran away the morning after John and Dean's fight and after Dean snapped at him.

Dean didn't mean to snap, but he was so stressed it was difficult. He knew he shouldn't have taken out his anger on Sam, but John was just really pushing his buttons. 

Like that's any news. 

"I'm sorry I neglected you, Sam... It wasn't right and I shouldn't have done it." 

Dean desperately wanted to punch John right then. He only feels remorse now because Sam went missing, if the events of the last couple days never happened John would still neglect Sam until he finally cracked. 

'Asshole.' Dean thought.

Sam didn't say anything in response, he just buried his face into Dean's chest. Sam tried not to cry under his father's unusually caring gaze. 

"It's okay, Sammy.... We'll go home soon..."

Sam wasn't sure if he wanted to go home...

 

Sam was required to stay in the hospital for a little while longer. John and Dean left to go get some food. Sam has to admit, it was weird that they left so soon after Sam woke up. 

'Maybe things will go back to normal after today...'

Sam looked down. He missed Gabriel a lot. He doesn't even know how he lost him, but that only served making Sam more depressed about losing him. 

'Gabe...'

A knock shattered Sam's thoughts. He turned his gaze up to the door to his room. A blonde haired man who wore a dark jacket stood there, a worried smile on his lips. He looked a lot like....

"Gabe...?" 

"Yeah, kiddo." 

Gabriel walked over to Sam's bedside and sat down. Sam blinked up at him in confusion and disbelief. 

"Wha? How? You're a doll..."

Gabriel chuckled lightly, ruffling Sam's hair, grinning at the scowl directed at him. 

"Technically, I am, but I'm not. I'm your guardian angel, kiddo. I just took the form of a doll so I could be with you at all times." 

Sam quirked a brow at him. "But, you left me..." He mumbled. Gabriel's gaze softened. "I'm sorry about that kid, but I needed to get you home." 

"What? How would that get me home?" 

"Remember when you saw Dean in the park and he picked up a kid in trench coat?"

Sam nodded.

"Well, that wasn't Dean. That was a hallucination my brother, Castiel, and I made. I knew where you were going and I knew you would collapse soon, I brought you here when I knew you passed out." 

"But... Why? Why not just bring me back when I left?" 

"I needed you to see that you are loved and your family was looking for you. Did you learn your lesson?" 

Sam nodded. "Yeah, but dad will just go back to neglecting me..."

Gabriel grabbed Sam's hand gently, running his thumb across the knuckles. "Maybe... But your brother is always going to be there for you. Dean will never, ever neglect you. Even if it seems like he will, he won't." 

"If you say so..." 

"I know so." 

Sam looked up at him and gazed into his champagne coloured eyes. "Thank you, Gabriel..." 

"No problemo, Sammy. Just remember, I'm always gonna be there. Because, I'm your soul mate."

WHOOOSH

The man was gone, but Gabriel was still there.

"Soul mates...?"

**Author's Note:**

> I don't own Supernatural or its characters.  
> but I own the artwork which is inspired by the PV of the song.   
> Sorry for any mistakes.  
> This is a song fanfic. 
> 
> Hope you enjoyed! Thanks for reading and feedback is appreciated!


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